My husband went to California on a business trip. During this trip, he visited a vegan restaurant. I am not vegan, but I am thoroughly jealous. Life is hard enough being a vegetarian; I can’t imagine trying to attempt veganism. Being vegetarian means asking questions about nearly every dish at nearly every restaurant – including salad. To eat at a restaurant where I wouldn’t have to ask a single question about where a dish fell on my dietary chart would be pure heaven. My husband loves meat; the universal imbalance of his getting to go to a restaurant the likes of which I can only dream is astounding. He is now, and will be for quite a while, in trouble for this.
“I brought you back a menu,” he tries to console me.
A menu? To perhaps muffle my aching sobs and absorb my bitter tears with?! You’re killing me!
“Why would you tease me with a menu?” is what I actually ask.
“I thought you could get some ideas from it. And there’s a recipe on it, too.”
“Oh. That’s cool.”
“And there’s a website, and the chef also sells cookbooks.”
I checked the restaurant, just to be sure, but alas, there are none of these restaurants anywhere near me. So for now, I have no haven for safely meat-free fare except my own kitchen. Good thing I like to cook. Even if I didn’t, I think I’d still like it better than asking, “Is there chicken broth in your spinach-artichoke dip?” whenever I tried a new restaurant. Worse, sometimes I forget to ask entirely. If I were vegan I'm not sure I could ever eat out. "What's your soup of the day?" "Tomato." "Great! I'll have tha-" "Tomato Creme, with Parmesan croutons." "Okay, how about spaghetti with tomato sauce?" "Oh, you'll love it, we actually use egg noodles, and our tomato sauce is made with a beef broth to give it a hearty, smoky taste!" "Fine, I'll just have a salad, then." "Sure, would you like Caesar, Ranch, Thousand Island, or Light Ranch?" "Actually, I'd like a menu for another restaurant, if you have it."
I'm sure I'd learn how to get along without any animal products whatsoever, but for now, the above scenario plays like a broken record when I consider this lifestyle change, so I'm going to leave it to the more seasoned vegans. ...And remain jealous of Husband's good fortune.
