Beauty Editor 7/28/10

Makeup has been on my mind a lot lately. Aside from the quest for the perfect lip gloss that will never end, my mascara is clumping and my concealer (unsurprisingly) runneth low. Anytime I consider buying new beauty products, I consult a couple of magazines' "Best Of" lists. A lot of times I end up testing the recommended product, twirling it in my hand, reading the ingredients, mulling over the (usually high) price, putting it in the basket...and then putting it back after I've decided on something else. For me, the buying decision typically ends up being based on instinct. Even when I have purchased the year's best lipstick, I've been disappointed. Buying makeup is always a chore, and these lists are supposed to make it easier, but not for me. I really can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong when my eyes look like I pasted tarantulas on them after applying the latest volumizing-curling-lenghthening-strengthening formula mascara, and my undereye circles peek out like fresh bruises under the new improved no-more-undereye-circles-guaranteed! formula concealer. 
Here's my proposition for you beauty editors out there: Stop using average people to test these products; or do, but put them in extreme conditions. Example: I am not your average shade of pale. There is Simpson in my DNA, judging by my skin tone, only paler, like if Lisa ever discovered WoW and had only the glow of her monitor to bask in for 7 months. Let me be the judge of which eyeshadow/blush/lipstick "flatters every skin tone." Example 2: I have average skin texture at sea level, but a mile above that I turn into a Komodo dragon. It takes a heavy lotion, Olympic timing, aligning moon cycles, and witchcraft to keep my skin moisturized for any length of time. Send one of your colleagues up here to the mountains to test the latest Jergens formula and see if she isn't disappointed after 5 minutes. 
I suppose there are more "average" women out there than there are women like myself, or they wouldn't be considered "average." I'm guessing. You want a large reader base, I understand, so you cater to average women. You give them affirmation, coddle them, chew their food for them. But I also suppose your average woman doesn't really have trouble walking into a drugstore, picking a shade of lipstick, and being satisfied with it. Meanwhile, the rest of us stare at ourselves in the makeup counter mirror, at the ghastly oh-so-wrong blush on our cheeks, "This is the best for fair skin?" we think incredulously, "What's their definition of 'fair?' Jennifer Lopez?" We - your not-so-average - are the ones who need help, here. So how about it, beauty editors: once a year, at testing time, round up a few testers on the extreme ends of the spectrum and publish their results. It's what I would do if I were in your shoes.