I just spilled coffee on my only white blouse. I've had it for years, so frankly, I'm proud of myself for this mishap not happening sooner. The argument could be made that I was asking for it, trying to carry three other things tucked under my arm, unlidded coffee mug in one hand, trying to open a door with the other hand. The unfortunate truth is that even without the additional cargo, in the matter of Coffee vs. Shirt, the odds were already heavily stacked in cofee's favor. My arms and hands tend to plum forget that they're holding something. They are especially key repellant. Holding my cell phone is like Bugs Bunny trying to hold a bar of soap, and TV remotes and game controllers are almost as slippery.
At least -aside from the batteries falling out- these items don't make a mess when dropped. I also drop food as if I'm in a contest with my toddler over who can make the floor more colorful. I drop at least one grape for every handful I wash. I drop a chunk of every food I attempt to chop. In one day, I not only splashed half & half on myself twice, I also dropped an almost full container of yogurt while taking it out of the fridge. The yogurt spilled inside the refrigerator, which made cleanup a bit more complicated as I had to wipe yogurt off of soda cans and pull out the produce drawers just to find it all.
Then, there is the Pumpkin Pie Incident.
At a high school craft fair one year, I bought a pumpkin pie that a student had made. It looked great, and as soon as I bought it, thoughts of creamy, nutmeg-y, pumpkin confection perfection began to dance in my head. I was also a vendor, so I had many items beside the pie to carry back to my car at the end of the show. When I had little enough for one last trip, I piled the pie tin on top of the two boxes I was going to carry. These were not heavy boxes, so I could handle it (insert suspensful pause here). At least I made it outside before the pie slid off of the top box. There it was on the sidewalk, the pile of mashed pumpkin and broken pie crust that my tastebuds would never get to meet. My disappointment was immense, augmented by the fact that I should have known better. Two boxes and a pie tin? What do I think I am, a professional carrier? I may as well have been trying to take yogurt out of the fridge.
