Pilgrim

I'm convinced that I was meant to live in this day and age. Without intervention of modern medicine, my mother and I wouldn't even be here. If by some miracle I had survived my birth, there is a great chance I would not have survived the births of my children. I am painfully intolerant of the cold and am terrified of extended voyages across the ocean. Given that I almost gave up baking my own bread until I got my stand mixer, I can't imagine how I'd do making my own flour. Without my steamer, panini grill, and microwave, I might never cook at all.
As I am preparing some food on Thanksgiving Eve for the big dinner, Husband is lounging around doing absolutely nothing, demanding that I bring him food, water, and medicine like someone who just had knee surgery or something and can't walk - maybe because he did - Missey is underfoot trying to help with every measure and stir, and Bug is QUITITGOSITDOWN! Bug is cranky and needs a bath. Even after his extended bedtime ritual, he doesn't want to sleep. I catch him playing in his room half an hour after laying him down, then he throws a fit. Missey is done grating the cheese and needs another job. My feet hurt, my back hurts, smelling all this food has me hungry, and I'm exhausted. Hectic as all this is, I am grateful for every last minute of it - and not just on this one day.

Remodeler

The building I work in has been remodeled over the last year. I was one of the first to get a new desk - all my own, too - resting comfortably on the stylish new modular carpet. Not that the new stuff wasn't cool, but I missed my old cozy office, tucked away and locked from all but a select few coworkers. The new area was cold, and no space heaters were allowed (which may or may not have to do with one catching fire on my watch). My new computer was missing essential programs that I had to wait to have installed. I realized that as adaptable as I had always believed myself to be, I really don't like change.
I tend to live in the here and now. I forget to take photos of major events because it doesn't occur to me that I will one day be present in a future where I may want to revisit these moments. Even so, I rarely look at old photos, because I know where they are if I want to see them, but I'm too busy right now. The future will come when it comes, and bring with it what it will. The past, I can't change, and has led me to where I am now, which I do not at all regret.
That said, I catch myself using the phrase, "I remember when" a lot. If we ever drive around my town together, point out a building, and I'll tell you the business it used to be before it was the business it is now, as well as who I was with when I used to hang out there. This is why I don't like change: It makes me nostalgic. I don't want to be that guy - "Hey, did I ever tell you about how that Taco Bell used to be-" "YES! You've told me about it!" I accept that change is inevitable, and I wouldn't want to live in any other time than this one. But a large part of me cheers every time they recycle parts of the old house on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Memories deserve a place in our now.

Parent's Television Councilmember

I know that topically, this is a few weeks late, but I can't not comment on the Parents Television Council's criticism of the Glee GQ photo shoot. I'm not going to link to it; it doesn't really deserve any more attention. My only comment here is one that goes way beyond this one photo shoot: Just because it was once for kids, doesn't mean it's always for kids. Cases in point: Miley Cyrus on Hannah Montana: For kids. "Can't Be Tamed" video: Not for kids. Justin Bieber: All ages. SNL featuring Justin Bieber: TV-14. Dakota Fanning in Charlotte's Web: G. Dakota Fanning in Hounddog: R. 

If you are allowing your kids to watch, listen to, or view adult content just because a celebrity they like is featured in it, you are not parenting. According to the Parents Television Council, "Many children who flocked to ‘High School Musical’ have grown into ‘Glee’ fans. They are now being treated to seductive, in-your-face poses of the underwear-clad female characters posing in front of school lockers, one of them opting for a full-frontal crotch shot." Um, how are they being treated to these pictures? GQ is a magazine for men. I am not so naive to think kids can't find their own methods of obtaining a copy of the magazine, or finding the pics online; Dad isn't necessarily handing over the mail. But parents should be paying attention to what their kids are watching, even if it features OMGJUSTINBEIBER!

Podiatrist

I have a problem with socks. I have no idea whether anyone else has this problem; it really hasn't ever come up in any conversation I've ever had.  The issue is this: my socks get holes in them. In the heels. The Achilles tendon, specifically. I have no idea how this happens, especially as it usually happens on the first wear, and typically only on pairs I have bought at stores that do not include the word "dollar" in their name.
I understand holes in the toes. I understand holes in the heels (because unfortunately there is not enough pumice and/or shea butter in the world to get my feet to look good in sandals). I do not understand holes developing over the softest part of my foot.
I also do not understand how this happens on the first wear. When this phenomenon occurs with pantyhose - which nowadays I avoid like shows having anything to do with New Jersey - I can usually pinpoint what happened, which was me being careless and snagging them on something. Side Note: this has happened with knit gloves, too. Knit gloves + Velcro = Bad. My socks, however, are safely housed inside my shoes, which should protect them from me and any runnings-in I may have with rough objects. Perhaps this is where I should point out that I am not wearing wooden shoes or anything. Get some meddling kids on the case, because this is a mystery to me.